May 8, 2015 – – Raising a Child in 2015- by Rosalie Harpole. This sermon will be given on Mother’s Day, May 10, at the New Life Fellowship church in Terre Haute, Indiana.
Scripture: Proverbs: 14:1 Every wise woman buildeth her house: but the foolish plucketh it down with her hands.
Proverbs: 14: 26. In the fear of the Lord is strong confidence: and his children shall have a place of refuge.
Proverbs: 22: 6. Train up a child in the way he should go: and when he is old, he will not depart from it.
Thinking about my own mother, Ann Fiorino, on this mother’s day, my mind goes back to the days of my childhood, growing up in the 1950’s and 1960’s. Life seemed to be so less crazy back then. For one thing, we didn’t start school until the day after Labor Day in September. Unlike today, my mom never ran out and bought me a whole new wardrobe, brand new shoes, brand new cloths, back packs, colored pencils, a stapler, laminated thumb tacks, or a hole puncher. We were expected to dress modest; skirts, blouses and neatly fixed hair. My socks were white and my shoes were black, and as I recall, no one stood out as a fashion star. As far as my supplies, if I had two sharp pencils and a notebook, all I needed was a teacher and a desk. Every morning our teacher led us in the pledge of allegiance, and we recited the Lord’s Prayer.
The Ten Commandments hung on our hallway wall, and our American Flag flew high on the school grounds. We were taught that we were in the best country in the world, America.
However, I did need discipline, and at my school that was no problem. My mother made it clear that if I got in trouble at school, I got in trouble at home. I was expected to be courteous, kind, non-violent, and in no way disobedient to authority. If I was lucky and all of my assignments were complete, when I got home from school I got to watch the Howdy Doody Show, and of course my favorite, the Mickey Mouse Club. It was a kid’s world with the beautiful Annette Funicello and the Mouseketeers. Saturday’s were heaven with The Lone Ranger, and Kukla, Fran and Ollie.
Our minds were not filled with sexual impurities, alternative life-styles, and transgenders. And we wouldn’t know what a transgender was if he came up and introduced himself to us. We had no idea what these things were. When we were teenagers we never saw kids with arm sleeve tattoos, purple hair, and nails poking out of their heads. We had no idea what these things were. Our TV shows were made up of The Waltons, and Leave It to Beaver, both portraying family life with a mom and dad with kids. We never saw a bedroom scene, we never heard cursing, and the most violent anyone got was maybe Matt Dillon protecting the peace of Doge City on Gunsmoke. Life was really simple.
We had one car, and that belonged to dad so he could get to work. He was a butcher at the local National Food Store in Jennings, Missouri, where I grew up. Mom walked to work where she was a seamstress, and I walked to school.
We seldom had obesity problems, because when we were not walking, we played hard on our school playground for a least an hour every day. On the way home from school, if it snowed, we ran most of the way to avoid snowballs aimed at our heads from the mean boys. We were happy kids, we had homemade meals every night, and always sat together at the supper table. We discussed the days’ problems, and got very little sympathy if we had complaints. We were taught respect for those in authority and for each other. My mother said, “If the teacher takes the time to teach you, you will take the time to do your homework.” We mostly learned to work out our own problems at school, and seldom did our parents get involved. If we were good students and completed our assignments every day, we could take up a musical instrument of our choice. Everyone went to church, and Sundays and Wednesdays were reserved especially for church and there were very little activities, if any, scheduled on these days.
We learned to cook from our moms, and our brothers worked with our dads either building something or taking it apart. Everything that broke down in our house was fixed by my dad. Keeping the house in order and somewhat cleaned up was up to my mom. Since she loved to cook and sew, I was expected to dust and vacuum. But for sure, there were distinctive rolls in the family unit. Mom ran the household and her expectations were high. Dad was the main financial provider, and he always had the last say in any major decision. And, I can assure you, by no means, were the children in charge.
And that was just a glimpse of what it was like when I was growing up.
So, here we are in the year, 2015. In contrast, instead of Annette Funicello with all of her clothes on, we have Miley Cyrus with none of her clothes on. Miss Miley stands unleashed before the world doing her sex dance for all to see. And I ask you? Where is the blushing? Where is the shame? Where is the objection? Where have the parents gone, where is the boycotting? Sadly, many have conformed. This is just life in 2015.
Some of the music of our day have lyrics so sexually seductive that they cannot be uttered. Instead of The Waltons we now have Modern Family which depicts two gay men trying to adopt their second child. We could go on and on in this vain, but I ask you, how do we raise a godly son and a godly daughter in the year 2015, when the whole world is upside down. How true the prophet Isaiah was when he said “Woe to them who call evil good and good evil.” This day has arrived.
We now go back to our opening scripture, Proverbs 14:1 “Every wise woman buildeth her house; but the foolish plucketh it down.” It takes a wise woman to organize and build a household. We may not feel we are wise, or have the skills, or the talent, or the time…but if we have the desire, to build a godly home, God will help us.
Raising a child in the year 2015 could be one of most challenging things Christian parents will face today. And before we can ever hope to raise a godly child, I have some questions for us today. 1. Who needs the discipline, the child or the parents? 2. Where have the parenting skills gone? 3. Who is raising who? 4. Who is in Charge? You, or the child you are attempting to raise? These are questions, that while our children won’t utter it, they really want to know these answers. They want to know who’s in charge, they really want to know if they are protected and safe in this home. We are living in an onslaught of sexual perversion, godless conduct, self-gratification thinking, and we are bombarded with social media.
So, mothers, I have started with a few building blocks that will make our house strong.
- Building Block #1. Instruction: Every child must be guided, and every child needs direction. Teach them the ways of God. In the book of Deuteronomy, 6: 4 -9, the writer tells us to teach our kids that there is one God. It tells us to teach them the scriptures. Teach them while you are driving in the van, when you are at the stove in the kitchen, when they go to bed, on the way to school in the morning. Teach, teach, and teach. And don’t be afraid to be the mom. Proverbs 19: 18 states: Chasten thy son while there is hope, and let not thy soul spare for his crying. If he throws himself on the floor and says he hates you, you just let him. Knock yourself out! Remember, you are not his friend, you are his mother. At times you are his enemy; you are his road block. At times, you are the bee in his bonnet, stinging his head. You don’t wait until they are out of your house to correct them. If you have to, take that cell phone away for a week, they won’t die. Put the video games away, and be the mom God wants you to be. Proverbs 23:14 Thou shalt beat him with the rod, and shalt deliver his soul from hell. It takes a strong mom to level with her child, and say: Son, daughter, I don’t feel good about your decision. And they are going to say, “Mom, you just don’t understand, you don’t know me, you don’t even know where I’m coming from, you don’t have a clue.” And their argument many even weaken you. Because, you see, they have a degree in debate, they graduated from Rice University as a prosecution attorney. They will manipulate, they will intimidate you. You may say,” Sister Rosalie… They will never speak to me, they will never love me.” If they see your heart-felt concern, with tears and prayers, let me say, you will have an impact on their life.
- Building Block #2. Structure in the Home: Kids love structure, even though they may not even know it, believe me, they love Structure. They love routine, they love design, they love fabric; they love order. It makes them feel safe. Is there structure in your home? Is there a set time for them to go to bed? Or, do you go to bed, while they stay up to “finish” their movie? Is their a set time for them to get up? Do our children get breakfast before they go to school, or does everyone fend for themselves? Our children should be nourished, and have a good breakfast before they start their day. That’s discipline on you mom, not on them. Are we always running late, and teach our kids to do the same? Teaching them to be on time, teaches them commitment. God knows, we need some people with commitment! No teeth brushed, no hair combed, no bath for days. Again, where is the structure? Are they required to get their homework done before the privilege of playing video games? And may I ask this question? Why our children are allowed a constant barrage of entertainment? Are we are obligated to orchestrate their social life? Do we have to make sure they are entertained? What happened to the days when entertainment was reserved for Friday nights, when we could break out the popcorn and play monopoly? The Bible states there is a time to work, and there is a time to play. Life is not one big party that happens every day of the week, every hour of the day. But, in nature, we don’t like confrontation. We don’t like the hassle and the work of structure. We don’t like the argument. It is easier at times to just give in, but then our children have that are apathetic, with no motivation, and no self-esteem. Structure means I have to be disciplined. I can’t expect to be walking around all day long with a cell phone in my hand or sitting at the computer for 3 hours, plus, Facebooking and Twittering to people who have no right to be sucking up my time. If I want to be that woman that builds her house, then I need a plan. I need to plan for my day, to clean my house, cook a meal, set things in order, so that my family can feel “safe.” Believe me, they love to come home to a clean house, cookies in the oven, and realizing that mom has it all under control. Now, I realize there are multiple working moms in this place today, so you have to be the jugular of all jugulars. You have to have a plan, or no one has direction.
- Building Block #3. Work Ethics: If ever there was a generation with a lack of work ethics, it is today. I see the babies being born today and coming out wearing a sign that says: I’m coming to your house, and you are going to feed me, cloth me, clean me up, love me, entertain me, cater to me, you are going to meet all of my demands. What has happened to the days, when we as kids had to do our fair share of the work around the house? We were expected to keep our rooms clean. Pick our clothes up off the floor. If we had sons, they cut the grass even before our husbands came home from work. If we were running late, our daughters would have to start the supper. And there was no allowance. Story: When Scott and Jeff were ages 14 and 16 years old, respectively, they loved going to the Oak Tree Fashion store for young men at the Northwest Plaza. They loved dressing up for Youth Convention, and Youth Congress. They loved the sport coats, the ties and shirts, and the shoes. After several trips, and nearly broke, I thought…this has to change. So I sat them down and broke the news. You two are going to work. I put an ad in the paper advertising two well-bodied boys that needed odd jobs.
And the phone began to ring. Scott’s first job was for a lady who lived way out in the boonies. Scott said she was spooky. She had a huge flower garden with weeds and debris, and junk piled up so high, that he didn’t know where to begin. She also had a barn piled up with manure that had to be cleaned out. He went, he did it, he came home, he complained, he was so tired. But he had money. Jeff’s job came from a lady that wanted her front porch scraped and painted. “Young man, she said, “Can you paint a porch? “Yes mam,” he said, and promptly went to his dad who gave him a complete crash lesson on how to scrape and paint a porch. He went, he did it, he came home, he complained, but he had money. These jobs continued for a long time, and these boys were a whole lot more frugal with their money, then they were with mine.
We are in no wise doing our children a favor giving them everything they want. They will have no skills, no commitment, and no faithfulness to their teachers, or employers, if we do not teach them to work for what they get, and to complete the projects they have started. And part of this is the fact that we are bombarded with gadgets: mainly, cell phones, I-pods, video games, cell phone watches, Nooks, Kindles, and here is the question: Who is getting the work done?
- Building Block #4. Faithfulness: If we want to raise a godly child in 2015, then we as parents should have one goal in mind for our children. And that is, we want them to be saved. We want them to love God more than anything. We want them to thirst after righteousness. We want them to love the church, and love the ways of God. We want them to fear God, and know the consequences of not fearing God. We love seeing them in the church plays, in Elevatiion, in God’s rods. We are proud and happy to see them as quizzers. But, again mom, ask yourself the question? Are you faithful to the house of God? Are you here when the doors are open? Are you involved in the church? Do you support the church? Do you pray at the altar? Do you have that made-up mind? Have you and your husband made up your mind up along with Joshua when he said, “But as for me and my house, we will serve the Lord. Joshua 24:15. If our children see this kind of faithfulness in us, then they will themselves be faithful.
If we are faithful in using these building blocks to build a strong house, we will see our goal accomplished in raising a child in 2015. Proverbs 14:26. If our children see that we fear the Lord in all that we do, because we know that the Fear of the Lord is the beginning of wisdom, they will develop a strong confidence, and our children will have a place of refuge. That refuge will be our home. Thank you, and God Bless You.
Rosalie Harpole
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